The Word Café Podcast with Amax

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Some conversations reach deep into the soul, exposing the raw places where we hurt most. In this profoundly personal episode, I share intimate stories of my journey through unspeakable losses and physical pain—from watching my younger brother's life slip away before my eyes to holding my mother as she took her final breath.

Drawing wisdom from Jesus's painful cry on the cross, "My God, why have you forsaken me?", I explore how even divine beings acknowledge their suffering. Using an empty perfume bottle as a powerful metaphor, I demonstrate that we have two choices when pain enters our lives: allow it to grow until it shatters us completely, or grow ourselves until the pain becomes proportionally smaller against our expanded capacity.

My childhood was marked by a devastating leg injury that nearly resulted in amputation, leaving me immobilized for a year while other children played outside. Later came the trauma of witnessing death up close—my brother Oliver's accident, losing my childhood friend to a truck accident, and eventually losing both parents. Each loss carved deep grooves of grief, yet each taught profound lessons about human resilience.

What I've learned through these experiences has shaped every aspect of my being—how I write, think, and connect with others. Pain has given me a capacity for empathy that wouldn't exist otherwise. Perhaps our suffering serves to remind us of our fundamental helplessness and our need to anchor ourselves in something greater. The pain doesn't disappear, but as we grow, it recedes to the background, becoming part of our story rather than defining it.

If you're going through darkness right now, hear this truth: you are not alone. Even when it feels like you've been forsaken, remember that sometimes our deepest pain creates space for our greatest purpose. Join me in this vulnerable conversation about finding meaning in suffering and allowing our wounds to become sources of wisdom.

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