S3 Ep. 202 How Fatherhood Influences Our Paths

Speaker 1: Hello there, welcome to the World Cafe podcast. This podcast has been designed with created content that centers on the power of words. Can we really do anything without speaking? Can we really do anything without the agency of words? Yes, that is what this podcast is all about, and I am your host , amakri Isubie, your neighborhood word trader. I believe in the power of words , for it is the unit of creation . I trade in words to profit my world. Say anything. I need to ask you that question. How are you? Yes, I must ask it, because it is you one of the reasons why I'm here. I'm good, so I'm going to start it the way we normally start it good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good. Everything. Wherever you are on the surface of the earth, there's very instant listening to me. We're back into that space. Yes, I'm holding a cup of coffee, and you know what? This is what we're all about the Word Cafe podcast. It was inspired by partly my coffee, even though a lot of people who are around me tend to like, ah, you're a coffee addict now, or what. Well, let me tell you something about it. It makes me feel good. Yep, I indulge in it. Am I overindulging? Well, I don't know, mm-hmm, all right, so something happened before, uh, I came on set and, uh, I like to start with that, not so random thoughts, but something happened. Yeah, it falls under what I will term as conflict resolution, and a lot of us try to run away from conflict, but I've come to realize that when two people come together in any form of relationship, conflict resolution or conflict, is inevitable, and your ability to what I say navigate it speaks volume of your maturity and you know how you approach life. Conflict is inevitable. So we I saw two people I would say misunderstanding, yeah, and that misunderstanding degenerated into a little shouting, and you know what I say. You know energy being expended, but at the end of the day, these two parties came to understand themselves and you know what happened. They were better for it. Yes, they were. Excuse me. Yes, they were Excuse me. Yes, they were. I need to do this so you can't run away from conflict. It is not a sign of weakness, rather a sign of strength, maturity. You know, and so many organizations you come to see, people try to run away from conflict in terms of managing one issue or the other, or when you talk about power balance, and they want to run away from it, you know. But, come on, conflict is good, yes, it is In itself. It reveals who you truly are, excuse me. It reveals who you truly are, as in your true self, you know, and it also empowers you to see the next person and all that. So I thought to throw in that, before we start our thoughts for the day, a good cup of coffee, I must say. So. Fatherhood I'm going to start with fatherhood. Yes, fatherhood. A lot of us fathers we're fatherhood A lot of us fathers were running away from our responsibility and there's been this vacuum created. I'm not speaking as a I mean an expert, as it were, but I'm speaking from the point of view of being a father. I am a father. I have three children, biologically speaking. I also have a lot of people who depend on me in that regard. But I'm going to begin this thought with this, for those of us who are so familiar with the African story the great writer Chinua Achebe, who wrote Things Fall Apart, the Okonkwo story. Recently I heard Idris Elba is trying to do something about it, like there was a movie about it years ago, but he's trying to do like a miniseries, a TV miniseries, and he's going to play Okonkwo, happy for that, happy to hear that Idris is coming to do that. But those lines where he calls you father, those were Ike Mefuna, the slave boy who came under the fatherhood of Okonkwo, and it was, according to their traditions. A sacrifice needed to be done and the Lord fell on Ikemefuna. But his good friends told him don't. That boy calls you father Fatherhood. So I'm going to take it from this point. I'm a person of faith, a Christian, and everything I do I do it through the lens of my faith. The word father is not the same thing as daddy. You know, like the Americans will call it, the word father stems from the Hebrew word Abba, a-b-b-a, not the singers now, not the Abba, you know. So it stems from that. So what's the meaning of Abba? One of the great meanings is provider, protector, but he calls you father. That is so profound. He calls you father. He doesn't see you as just anybody. He sees you as his protector. He sees you as his protector, sees you as his provider, he sees you as his mentor, he sees you as his, what I call a leader . But the key word there is Abba, and a lot of children, if not all, receive strength from that Not daddy but father, like if you remember those of us who watched growing up George Lucas' movie you know not Star Trek, you know the movie I'm talking about, the one that had that Vader. And along the line that Vader came to tell Skywalker or so that I'm your father, the word Vader or that Vader stems from that same word Abba, mm-hmm, or father, vader, father. So you see, there's this scripture I saw the other day and I overheard Dr Miles Monroe teach about it and it struck me and I'm going to bring it here in this conversation. When you go through the scriptures, the Bible, you come to see that the role of the trainer is saddled with father. He said and ye fathers. You remember Paul saying that. And ye fathers. But this is the word I want us to key in on train, you know you hear the word train up a child and the way he should go, and ye fathers. Now, when you look at the word train you know I'm big on words what comes to our mind? Literally? We look at you know that long thing. You know that runs on a track. But actually, when you look at that long thing, we all call it train like train, the actual thing that is called the train is that thing in front, that which carries the energy, the engine. All the other behind it is called car. So the car or the cars are hooked up to the train, the engine, the energy. So wherever the train moves, the car follows. So actually the meaning of the word train is to drag, to pull, to exert, to bring upon or to influence. So when you look at the life of children, they run after the father. Yes, and again, if you look at it from biology, as in biologically speaking, when you look at the X and Y chromosomes, what brings about children is not the egg Go do your biology very well it is the sperm cell that comes in contact with the egg. So fathers carry a lot of energy. That is how God designed it. And you come to see that the society tries to dislocate that fatherhood role, try to create an imbalance and at the end of the day, you come to see that children are missing their fathers, a father who has come to realize his role. And take it up, look, calm yourself down, look closely. You come to see that you don't need to talk like shout, raise your voice and all of that. You only take your role and you see your children follow you because you are what the train. They are hooked up to you. Somebody said why do you say they are hooked up to you? Remember that scripture that says they were in his loins. Who Abraham and God said I know I trust Abraham, for he will train his children after me. He will bring, he will train. So divinity trusted humanity and you know that scripture that says blessed is the man who has them feel in his quiver. So you see, that's the role of a father and Acts mothers. They will tell you they are looking for fathers, that man that would take up his role, his responsibility and occupy that space. Like I told you, I didn't come to tell you speak as an expert. I'm only telling you from my view as a father. Do you know that our fathers imprint on us? Take a deep breath, close your eyes, try and connect with those things your father did when you were a child. If you look at your life closely, you would see those things your father did when you were a child. If you look at your life closely, you would see those things play out, the way you talk, the way you express yourself in joy, in pleasure, in anger likely. You see your father. You see those things your father did. I remember once talking about hereditary, our DNA. Hereditary. Does behavior, does our personality, ride on our genes? You know, does it ride on our DNA? Well, science may want to disprove me, but I think it does . You smile, the other day, my son we're getting ready for church and he stood in front of the mirror because I have this big mirror in my room. He does that all the time and I said go get ready for church. He said, daddy, I'm ready. And he looked at himself in the mirror and he said I look like you, daddy, and I smiled. He was wearing. I said what do you mean? He was wearing a blue shirt and all that. I said, daddy, you like wearing blue shirts. I look like you now. And and he was very spot on, I love blue azuri and I was born in March anyway, you know, and it's like, how did he know that? So he's been watching, he's been seeing the way daddy grooms himself, pattern himself, so he's also patterning that way. So you come to see that the train pulls the cart, no matter how heavy, no matter the number of carts, as long as there's a train, the cart will move. All the cars I beg your pardon will move. So this is what I just felt to come share with you, not so random thoughts. You're a father. Take up your role, take up your place, be it biological, be it spiritual. Do you know why? Because you are the engine you carry so much. Yep. All right, awesome time it has been with you on the World Cafe Podcast today. Thank you for being there. You can catch me up on my social media handles Twitter, facebook , linkedin and Instagram, all at Amakri Isoboye. Also, you can get copies of my books A Cocktail of Words, the Color of Words by H Aaron Notebook and Hocus Pocus on God on Amazon and Roving Heights online bookstores. You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel at the same address at Amakri Issawe. I love to hear from you and how this podcast has impacted you. You can leave me a message at my email address, amakrigaribaldi at gmailcom. That is A-M-A-C-H-R-E-E-E-G-A-R-I-B-A-L-D-I . Yes, till I come your way again . Bye for now.