S5 Ep. 288 Build Beyond You With Tara Fela - Durotoye

SPEAKER_03: Hello there. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Good everything. How are you all doing? Yes, I will always begin with those words. You know how we say it. Welcome to the World Cafe Live Show. This is the space where we come in to lean on one another's experience and do what? Forge a positive path. Well, let me tell you something. Each time we come here, we have something amazing to share with you. I'm not alone today. Guess what the word, not the cat now, the word brought in. Should I tell you? Yes. Her name is a she. Her name is Tara Tela Durutoe. TFD for short. That's what almost all of us know her for. She's here today. Yes, she is here today. And what do we say to her? Welcome. SPEAKER_02: Thank you. SPEAKER_03: So before we came on set, for your information, I've been working with her for you know I've told you something about the other side. The other side. The FD side. You guys know that FD, FD is here. You know, most of what we do here stems from sitting with him. So this is the other side of FD. So when she came in, she was like, You didn't give me a hug. I said, I did. I guess she wanted to report me to FD. I did, but somehow, you know, because of the rush of the moment and all of that. And she's here now. TV, welcome. How are you? SPEAKER_00: I am doing so good. I'm very happy about this season. Very excited that we got to work together. SPEAKER_03: Yes. SPEAKER_00: And uh such a pleasurable um work experience. SPEAKER_03: I can see. SPEAKER_00: Um and grateful that you know came onto the project and brought life to it. So thank you. SPEAKER_03: I learned from the best. And you know one of the best. So, guys, let me tell you something about TFD. Some of us know her. She's not just global, she's what I described intergalactic, you know, her approach, the way she does her things. You know, let me give you a little background. She's a lawyer by training. She started her business in school. She reminds me of my wife, because my wife also started her business preschool before she got into school. She's a chef anyway. So uh she started, she went into this beauty space. Growing up, we used to know it as Mary Kay. And when I read one or two things, even before now, she challenged, you challenged Mary Kay in our climb. And you came up with this aspect. We embracing ourselves, and the house of Tara was born. I had to go through all of this for my guests to understand that you're not a pushover. You're not a, I mean, you've built it. And let's say it as it is, you earned it. So tell us, yes, before we get into why this season is so amazing for you. Has it been? How did you start? I know these questions always come, but I will ask them again because of my guest. How did it begin for you? SPEAKER_00: How did I start? Like you said, I started as an undergraduate in the university, uh, making up people who were getting married. And the power of starting something is that other doors of opportunities begin to open. And from doing makeup for people who were getting married, I saw the opportunity to actually open a makeup studio. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: A place where my brides could come and get their makeup tested ahead of their wedding. Um, and then shortly after, in continuity, another door of opportunity opened again. And the opportunity that I saw was creating makeup brushes that my brides could use for their makeup. And soon again, another opportunity opened. People were asking me, I would like you to train me on this thing that you're doing. And that's how the school started. But when you have a school, you have to have tools uh for the students to use. And that's when the makeup brushes needed to expand. And then we went into our own makeup line. So became the very first indigenous makeup line in Nigeria. And soon enough, um, the distribution business came because when you now have products that you buy in volume, you have to find a way to distribute it. Yeah. And so sometimes a lot of times people think about production, but they don't think about how that will be distributed. And I'm sure you noticed that about me when we were on this project. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Because I knew the power and the importance of that and how when you don't have that's your distribution strategy on lockdown, you create an opportunity for people to take advantage of that. So um, soon after the distribution business became clear to me that we have this product. It's a lot. Yeah. But we have to have find a way for this product to be in every house in Nigeria. How do we do that? So we went on campuses and then started to recruit what we called beauty reps. SPEAKER_03: Okay. SPEAKER_00: And the the model was to teach them about makeup, give them an opportunity to make um a hundred percent profit on everything that they bought, and then use my credibility to get them to pay in advance so that we could also use their the funds that came from the advance payment to send back to our manufacturers to manufacture. SPEAKER_03: And in in in less than two minutes, you've just given a masterclass of you know what it means to start, start up, produce, manufacture, and distribute. Because that's what you just explained now. And this is an aspect that a lot of young minds in Nigeria, Africa, but particularly Nigeria, grapple with. I know you have a lot of uh favor around you. I use that word carefully. The people around you, your mentors and all of that, people like my Madame Ibukuwa Woshika and the rest of them. How did they help you in affirming all of this? SPEAKER_00: I think I think with mentorship, right? Um, mentorship can only be effective when there is something and someone to mentor. Uh, first of all, someone to mentor, that means you are teachable. Yeah, that means you are receptive, that means that you are uh ready to take action with what feedback you've been giving. Uh mentorship only works also when there is something to mentor. So sometimes people come to you to ask you to mentor them, or in what area, in what aspect of life, in what where's the area that you consider a gap in your life, and who's the person that will fit that fits to take you on that journey? Because not everyone has the experience and the expertise to mentor you in a particular area of your life. So the question goes back to what did they do, right? Or how did they help me to affirm these things? Yeah. Um, I think I came affirmed and and they came to echo. All right. They came to loud it in local palace. Local palace. Right. Um, they came to amplify what already existed. Uh and I'm careful to say that because um oftentimes people see success and then they equate it to the fact that you are this and that. So somebody will say, Oh, she's a great speaker because she's married to Fella Drutwe. Oh, she's a great businesswoman because her mentor is Ibn Oshika. No, um, I was already a speaker before I married Fella. Yeah. Uh while I was in secondary school, um, I started a what you call a speaker's bureau. And I went to the school to say they should give opportunities for students who have something inspirational, something to teach every week, once a week, they should give a student slot so that it's not only teachers who are speaking. Students can start speaking. Design a rooster. So every week, one person comes on stage in front of the entire school at assembly and shares something. And the focus was now around those who were members of a particular fellowship, so they shared the word. SPEAKER_02: Okay. SPEAKER_00: And so speaking was something I did before I even met Fella, right? And oftentimes people will say, oh, because she is so-and-so's mentee is the reason why I should succeed. Seeing it, no, um, I had already built my business. It was the business Mrs. Awashika saw that I approached her, that she recognized that this is someone who's going somewhere. And what can I do to amplify that? So I don't want people to begin to think that because I don't have a fella dro toe, therefore I can't, or because I don't have an awushika, I can't. I'm saying build yourself because success has many brothers and sisters. SPEAKER_03: Now, what you've said now is a case of I go back to the scriptures now, the man who was invalid and Christ walked up to him and asked him. His response was exactly what you just said now, but in the opposite, I have nobody. And Jesus was like, that's not what I'm asking you. Do you are you willing? Yes. So you you from what you just said now, it's like, yes, I have the will. SPEAKER_00: Yes. I have the will, and I not just the will, I took action. Exactly. I took action consistently, right? Yes. SPEAKER_03: It is one aspect that a lot of young business people, entrepreneurs, yes, always complain. Yes. I have nobody. Yes. But the truth is not about you not having anybody. So let me tell you a little detour before I met FD. It feels like I've known him for forever. But I've just known him for the pre post COVID years. I met him exactly the COVID year. Virtually. And each session, sitting under him, talking, listening to him, it felt like he was affirming something. SPEAKER_00: That already existed. SPEAKER_03: Exactly. He was affirming something. That already exists. Yes. And somehow, yes, it clicked. Yes. And now he is Uncle Fella at home. If you understand what I mean by that, yes, it's a household name. So he's just to affirm what you said. And this is telling people out there, the audience, you have it. SPEAKER_00: Yes. You do. You do. Yes. SPEAKER_03: Keep at it. SPEAKER_00: Yes. And stay consistent. Exactly. Affirm yourself first. SPEAKER_03: That's amazing. Now, I know this season is pretty, pretty busy for you. And I'm going to pick this up. SPEAKER_00: Well, well, well, well, to be honest, there isn't any season that isn't busy. SPEAKER_03: True. True. I agree. I agree for you. I agree. That's the truth. Now, this book. SPEAKER_00: Yes. SPEAKER_03: First of all, guys, is a bestseller. Yes. It's a bestseller. Canada. Yeah. SPEAKER_00: And in the US. SPEAKER_03: Let me say it. We don't make calm. We are bestsellers. SPEAKER_00: Come on. Come on. Come on. Yes. SPEAKER_03: Now let's talk about this book. You know, each time I go back and remember how the journey started and looking at the work. Yes. The truth is, my wife is very involved in what I do. Okay. And I share with her, like, come and read. SPEAKER_02: Yes. SPEAKER_03: Come and see. Yes. This woman has shown what you always talk about at home. You know, she has put she's put it in writing, you know, and somehow I see that similarity, or you know, the way you process things and all that. And the minute this work was done, let me tell you the truth. I just took a deep breath. Like, this is one work I'm proud of. I am proud of. Why? Not because, oh, you walked on it, no, because I know how far it will go. And the impact it's going to create. Why did you do this? SPEAKER_00: So let me ask you, why did you? SPEAKER_03: Why did I? SPEAKER_00: Yes, why did you? SPEAKER_03: I was taught by my mentor, your husband, that the best way you can grow is to support people. The one way you can. SPEAKER_00: Okay, I clap for you and I clap on my husband. Yes, you have to. SPEAKER_03: So each time opportunities, yes. To support people. Yes, each time opportunities present themselves or whatever that I need to support. Yes. I jump on it. SPEAKER_00: And you and you did jump on it. And you jumped on it with such ease and a resolve to see it through. So, and you, you know, you stretched yourself beyond even your your comfort to really, really push, push it. So I'm really grateful. So why did I do that? I did it because I think primarily no number one, I wanted to document. I think it's important um that we document as Africans. We don't have enough stories of African entrepreneurs and African entrepreneurship. African entrepreneurship as a genre is missing. SPEAKER_03: It is. SPEAKER_00: It's missing because we just don't document. It's not because we haven't been doing entrepreneurship. My grandfather uh was an entrepreneur. My grand, my grandfather on my father's side was a was a tycoon. Um he built the first story building in Sapele, and Sapele was a port. SPEAKER_03: Yes. SPEAKER_00: Uh at the time, um, his house was built by Brazilian architects. Um, the house even had its name. It's known as the Pacific House. SPEAKER_02: Whoa. SPEAKER_00: It was ingrained in the chiseled in the building. So the building, the house was built in 1910, still standing till today, and you can still see Pacific House rating on it. It it it the background, the backup of that house is it's the um Atlantic Ocean. Now, that man as an entrepreneur, he was a myth. So there were conversations around the fact that he must have married Mami Wata, uh, who is the mermaid, right? Mami Wata, because of the amount of wealth that he had. But you see, the reason why I know my grandfather's story is because my grandmother, my my my maternal grandmother shared it with me. My dad probably didn't feel a need to say, oh, my father was so and so and so and so, right? So, but it was my my mom, my mother's mother who shared with me. And what what did she do? She was she just basically was trying to let me know my stock and where I came from. And it is from that information that I started to ask questions and I began to gather information about my grandfather. Now, whereas there are entrepreneurs who were who started businesses in 1910 and co whose stories are documented somewhere around the world, in the US, in the UK, and we are referencing them today. If Ulumaru's information was preserved, then we would know. I remember when my sister was getting married and she got married to an uh to another, you know, we're from Ishekiri, the Shekiri tribe. She married an Ishikiri man, and his grandfather's name was in my grandfather's death book. SPEAKER_03: It was owing your grandfather. Yes, yes. So my father. SPEAKER_00: So my father, my father used it to tease them that come and see your grandfather's name and my father's death list. We don't even know whether he ever paid it off. But the information was documented because my grandfather's death book, debtor's book, was available for us to see. And that's the power of documentation. It's also the reason why we're not seeing enough African businesses that leave their founders, because the recipes are not documented. The processes that deliver the same outcomes are not documented. There isn't historical data that is documented. And so I became very passionate about how do I make sure that yes, I've set a standard, yes, I padded an industry. But what if in 30 years' time my name is no longer here and I'm not here in 40 years' time and the story ends, and then young people do not believe they can because they have no mirrors. And so mirror was one of the reasons why I documented this. I wanted entrepreneurs in Africa to be able to see someone that looks like them, know a brand that they're familiar with, and see that it is possible. Yeah. I also wanted to do this because I thought it was important to document so that we can teach and transfer knowledge to the next generation. True. I wish that there were more entrepreneurs, you know, the likes of your dutalas, uh, the likes of your um of your you know established entrepreneurs for money. Uh, Dantata, not maybe not dancing, but quick, yes, who had documented, right? Our history will be in those information because they've been exposed to what was happening in the socioeconomic space. Um, our our the trends would have existed. It would give us a sense of, I believe that I am this because of this or that and the other. So I felt I thought it was very important to also document for that reason. And that's why um the book. And at the end of the day, um, there is nothing as beautiful as seeing a work that you've put effort in. Yeah. You can see it in a format that you can hold and feel because it's then tangible in flesh. And I and I'm grateful that I got the chance to do so in my lifetime. SPEAKER_03: Who, who, who, whose fault is it for this documentation? Because when we talk about the West, like the Rockefellers, the Clintons and what have you, their data, the records are there. Yes. But when you flip it through this way, it's like we just we never existed. Yes. So whose fault? SPEAKER_00: Yeah. Well, well, I think that because we do oral storytelling as a culture. Um, and so through oral storytelling, we've transferred information. Um, oral or oral documentation is also how we transfer traditions. Uh where I come from, we do temoshi. Temoshi is the traditional marriage. And the word temoshi was not did not originate 10 years ago. It didn't originate 30 years ago. It originated hundreds of years ago, right? Um, so but the reason why I know it is because oral storytelling was what was used to transfer that information from one generation to the other. SPEAKER_03: Like the great. SPEAKER_00: Exactly, right? I I think about, you know, for example, you we've had the Shekyri, the where a kingdom has had, we've had a king, this is our 21st king, right? And we've had a king from the 14th century. And the reason why we know this is because there's oral document, there's oral, uh, oral transmission of that information. But however, because our kings, quite a number of them, were also educated. Okay. They were educated in Portugal, in Western world, in Europe. They came back home with the knowledge of the importance of documentation. So today in the kingdom, we have an entire cemetery where all our kings have been buried. So we know where they all are, their bodies are. Um, and that's because there was an influence of the European, how things are done that has impacted us. So I would say we have our own way of doing it. Um, and it's great. Uh, and I feel like um we can preserve it because it's important. It it creates bonding for families. Uh the other day we're on the family call that started at 8 o'clock and we didn't finish on to 12. And I asked everyone, how come we stayed so long on this family call? Because the family call is every week. And it was simply because my children were asking me questions about my childhood. And because it was stories about my childhood, they were so entertained. They didn't talk about football. There was no conversation about any footballer that had got transferred or whatever. The conversation didn't turn turn into about football, in which case I would have been bored and I would have left the call, right? Well, in this case, because I was sharing, and that's the power of oral transmission of knowledge. So I wouldn't say it's anyone's fault. I would just say that we we're culturally different. But when we see that there's a place where we can adopt, let's adopt. And this is one of those opportunities to adopt where we document. SPEAKER_03: I I I mean, I agree with you. Take ownership, be intentional. You know, we we want to preserve our history, our story. Like you said, Miro. Yes. So somebody wants to know, okay, I mean, Nigerians, how do they even do business? It's like, I'll go and read. Have you read that book? Which book? It's a Building Beyond You Buy. Oh, really? And they pick it up. And it's like, this is made in Nigeria. SPEAKER_00: Correct, correct. And and you read it and you see uh descriptions of things that you're familiar with, whether it's a it's a song about Tandy Gorana as a brand that people remember. It's like, oh yes, I remember that drink. Or you hear someone miss talk about a street in Ikoi, and someone says, Oh, I remember that name of that street because I know where Ikoi is. So you kind of start to visualize, yeah. Um, uh um visualize what is what is what you know and and and you can relate. SPEAKER_03: So what's next for you? SPEAKER_00: Well, I think for the book, uh, we are doing, we started the tour. Yeah, I'm excited about that. Uh here I'm here in Abuja because of that. We're doing book signing today at Roving Heights. Yeah. And then um tomorrow I'm going to be speaking at a conference. On Sunday, I'll do a book signing at my church, uh uh The Refuge in Abuja. Yeah, how sunder. And then next upper week I go off to Port Accord and I go to the Uighwe University because now I have this um uh campuspreneur initiative. Oh, good. I want to take the message of building beyond you on campus because that's where I started from. And so Uyghur University has has invited me, and now I'm going to have the University of Port Accord with the Uyghur students as well and talk about the message of building beyond you. And then after that, we'll have a Builders Forum, a mini conference in Port Accord. With entrepreneurs and founders in the city, 150 of them. That's good. And then on Sunday I'll go up to my church in Port Hakot House on the Rock as well to do some book signing. And then I go to Ibadon as well, do something at UI, and then another event for entrepreneurs in the city as well. 150 of them. After that, I head back to Lagos and then go to East Africa. So we're going to go to Nairobi, Kampala, Dir Salaam, and Kigali. And then head back home and off to Canada and do the tour of North America and come back and then go Southern Africa. SPEAKER_03: That's good. SPEAKER_00: And then I will call it a day. SPEAKER_03: That's what we're going to call evangelism. SPEAKER_00: Come on. SPEAKER_03: You are now an evangelist within that space, you know, going around. I can imagine. SPEAKER_00: I need a private jet, huh? Yes, you do. SPEAKER_03: Yes, you do. I can imagine in the talking to 150 people over, say, five, six, seven, eight locations, the quantum. Yes, and the impact. And the impact. And they go back home with this knowledge and they begin to like recreate within their space. SPEAKER_00: And you know what I said to someone? I said, you know how when I started makeup, it literally did not exist. SPEAKER_03: No, you didn't. SPEAKER_00: But today it is one of the uh career paths that people will describe and that is well known. There's no one who doesn't know makeup artistry. The way you know doctors, that's how you know a makeup artist can be a job. SPEAKER_01: True. SPEAKER_00: Um, and today that's become the reality. And I and I feel like people have some graces, and I have grace to pioneer things. And when I pioneer things, I also have a Midas touch, which means that it's going to catch fire. Yeah. And makeup artistry will become a thing where everywhere you go, you will find a makeup artist. That's good. It's the same way the building beyond you conversation among entrepreneurs will become a standard. Give it another few years. Yeah. And soon enough, everybody will be talking about building beyond you. I agree. It will become a real movement. I truly believe that. SPEAKER_03: I see it from the perspective of stages, time. You know, when it's time for something, and he who has that thing is aware of it, nothing stops it. Correct. Because like I said, nothing can stop an idea whose time has come. So you know that. So it is deep within you. SPEAKER_01: Yes. SPEAKER_03: Because this is who I am. SPEAKER_01: Yes. SPEAKER_03: I was born to do this. Yes, yes. And because I was born to do this, and let me sound a bit churchy now. Yes. I have the mantle on me to do this. Yes, yes. And anybody good, just give it time. Yes, yes, yes. SPEAKER_00: I was I was saying this to someone earlier today about how that there's an invisible hand that seems to be orchestrating things because the time has come. And I and I say sometimes we can plan, we can strategize, but there is a manufacturer who's a silent orchestrator in our lives. And if we acknowledge that silent orchestrator, you'd be surprised how he moved things. And I said, I talked about how the Building Beyond You conference started and how people would have thought that the conference was something I strategized with the book, with that and the other. No, I just walked into a season. There was a door of opportunity that opened. And that door of opportunity that opened was a moment. I stepped into that moment and things began to align. So but unfortunately, sometimes we don't pay enough attention to our seasons because we get so distracted by activity and busyness that we can we can lose chance, lose opportunities to walk into that door that has opened. I just feel like the door has opened for me with this message, and things are aligning. So I'm walking in the consciousness of that opening, walking in the consciousness that an invisible hand is also orchestrating and is giving me peace, but a certainty that all this will yield a harvest that is beyond my wildest imagination because I'm depending on that invisible hand. And who's the invisible hand? It's the hand of the Almighty God who created all things. SPEAKER_03: Absolutely. SPEAKER_00: Created me as well as one of his tools on the earth. SPEAKER_03: Amazing. Now, I want you to speak to my audience why they should get building beyond the. SPEAKER_00: I think you should get the book because number one, it's relatable. Relatable because there is nothing as beautiful as seeing a book or a concept being taught by someone that looks like you. It makes it relatable because it you then see the possibilities of it. This is not Warren Buffett. This is not uh Jeff Bezos, uh, this is not Oprah Winfrey. This is Tara that you know, a brand that you're familiar with. So it's relatable. It's also practical. There are lots of stories like you know in the book. I was very particular about sharing real, genuine stories. Yeah. Some entrepreneurs read the book and said they saw themselves in it. And this is going to be the reality for many people because you're like, oh, that also happened to me or sounds like me. And then therefore, you can see the practicality of it. It's also the fact that it has at the end of every chapter uh a place where you can take your reflections can be written, where the notes are. You can take your pen and write the things that you can start doing, the things you will stop doing, and the things you will continue to do. But I think apart from the relatability and practicality of it, it's also the principles that you can adopt, learn, and activate. But I think one of my favorite parts of the book is the last chapter, chapter 10. And it's one of my favorite because it gives me the opportunity to share two angles of my of how I see the world. I see the world through a spiritual lens and I see the world through a strategic lens. And I get the chance to share my transition and how I built the business. And then two years ago, I stepped away from the business, handed over to a new managing director, not because I was ill, not because I was old, not because I was tired, but simply because it was time to have a successor. So you have structure, you have systems, but you must have succession because success is going to now be determined by who your successor is. And so stepping away became a conversation that a lot of entrepreneurs wanted to have. They want to experience this, what I'm experiencing, and they wanted to know. So I document my transition from both a spiritual and a strategic uh standpoint. I'm hoping that at the end of the day, you're invited to a life of peace, a life of joy. And that life you can only get through discipleship. And that discipleship comes through a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Amazing. And I get the chance to share that in a book that's going to sell hundreds, hundreds of thousands and millions of copies around the world. Amen. And get give me the chance to share my faith with the world. So I think that's for me, it is the tip of the iceberg. Iceberg. Yes. SPEAKER_03: So, guys, I will encourage you, not because she's here with me now. I mean, working on this project, it opened me to so much. Like she said, it stretched me. You know, I I had to like ask questions. You know, as a writer, you you know, ask questions and how best, how this, how that. And it's here. It's here. Between here and there, there's always a bridge, something to bridge, and this is one of it. You you're a business person. You, even if you're not a business person, you can apply these principles written in this book to family, to how you you relate with your children and everything. The principles are solid. I will encourage you, wherever you are uh on the earth, Nigeria has something the world needs, and this is one of it building beyond you. I'm proud of it, and I'm going to hype it anywhere. Buy the book, go and get copies, share it with your friends, and everybody. Father's Day is coming. Yes. SPEAKER_00: That's a good present for fathers. SPEAKER_03: Very good, very good. Go get it. It's on Amazon, is uh in Nigeria, for example, Rovin Heights, Latana Books, Sella. Sella. Yeah, just name it. The major bookstores. Yes, go get it, go get it. And when you get it, when you read it, please leave a review. Yeah. Button. Yes. If you don't know how to leave a review, let me tell you. Instagram, go there, talk about it, tag TFD. Just tag her. You understand me? And tag, you know, other business, whatever, to go get the book. This is me not selling it. This is me encouraging you. Now, before I let you go, people will always ask that question. How does she balance all of this? Husband, children, family. How? I know this question always comes up, but I don't get tired of asking it because I want my audience to see that you can actually do things successfully by not complaining, oh, I'm overwhelmed. Oh, I'm that. SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh. So how I hear one more, if I hear that word overwhelmed again one more time, I'm going to put cotton wood in somebody's mouth. The more you say you're overwhelmed, the more you're talking about. You are overwhelmed. It's just about saying, what is it that's overwhelming me? Sit down and write it and then decide I'm gonna deal with A, B, C. SPEAKER_03: Exactly. SPEAKER_00: Yes, and deal with them so that you can get over the prioritizing more or less. Yes, yes. But yeah, so so it's it's it's about it's about integration. It's about integration. Um, my relationship with God is a fundamental part of who I am as a person. But that relationship with God is also a part of my relationship with my husband, is also a part of my relationship with my children, is also a part of my relationship with my friends, is also a part of my relationship with my business. Uh so my faith is part of my relationship with all these aspects of my life. It's in the same way that um my relationship with my business is my husband, is also a part of that. Yeah, and and my children are a part of that. And part of that doesn't mean they work there. It means that they are engaged in a way that they understand what I'm doing, they see what I'm doing, um, they feel, they are engaged, they are um I share my worries, share my concerns, um, share my victories with them. I carry them along. So my children have carried them along from when they were little. Um, I got the chance to take them to the office. I pick them up from school in the afternoon, they come and do their own work in my office. So they've always known House of Tara. Um, and and so House of Tara was a part of their lives. In the same way, my husband is a part of the life of House of Tara. Um and oftentimes people struggle with that because there's no integration. And the integration comes when you are willing to drop your pride and depend on others. Yeah. Depend on your spouse, depend on your children, depend on your siblings, carry them along. And as you carry them along, they become a part of what you're doing, you become a part of what they are doing. And as long as there's that, there's some kind of a balance, a balance that comes with that integration. Um, and um, I mean, I think about the fact that I'm traveling out of the country for an extended period of time. So I don't often go away for as long as I'm going to be going away in July. But what I've done is to design my time at home in a way that it's deliberate and intentional. The number of times that we're going to go out, um, the times that we're going to do other things, that's just us. There's an intentionality around it. And as I travel across the world or across East Africa, my husband will be a part of it. Why? Because technology gives me the opportunity to do so. You arrive in a country, you call immediately you arrive. Yeah. You do a video call because you want your spouse to know that, not because they are trying to supervise you, but simply because you just want them to be a part of what you're doing. So I've arrived in Kampala. This is what the airport looks like, right? You go to the hotel room, you do a video of the hotel room, you share. This is the hotel room. Oh my god, it's lovely. No, it's horrible. Oh, it's phenomenal. No, it's tacky. Oh my goodness, I've never seen anything so beautiful. Your spouse feels a part of it. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: So this whole thing of people not feeling like their spouses can are part of their thing is because they're sometimes they're not carried along. And in the carrying along is in the little things, it's in the decisions to to either use a white print or a black print. And you ask your spouse, which do you think? And in some cases, you choose the one your spouse has chosen simply because you want them to feel like a part of what it is that you're doing. Yeah. So it's it's about integration. You integrate. SPEAKER_03: Integration. That word has been used, but now I see it in a in another light. You know, in in business organizations, you hear about integrations and bringing people together, collaboration and all of that. But from what you've explained now, it brings it to another level, incre bringing about balance. Right. You know, you you you you you you're looking at harmony here. Yes. So you bring in integration. You you carry your family, your friends along in what you do. Amazing. Guys, I wish I could keep her here for you know longer than this, but you know, she has a lot to deal with today and other days. Well, we need to let her go, you know, refresh, put herself together again, and hit that road that we are going to receive more from her. For me, I working with TFD over this book has revealed to me that there are possibilities, endless possibilities. All you have to do is just be open. Be open. And guys, that's what I have to tell you, you know, on this episode of the show. Be open. You're looking for that idea, you're looking for that support. Be open. Be the word open here is you are available, you are willing. You know, don't be grumpy, don't blame, don't shout, nobody wants to help me. No, just like TFD said a while ago, it's there. Start walking it. Before we let her go, this is a little gift from us at the cafe. We always do this. Oh, yes. We we present this to our guest, you know, as a token from the World Cafe Podcast. SPEAKER_00: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. SPEAKER_03: So you're welcome. You take it along with you everywhere you go. Thank you. All right, guys, you know how we do it on the show. Always exciting. This is the space where we come in to do what? Lean on others' experience and forge a positive path. Today we've had the privilege of uh hosting the TFT, and we've heard from her. I'm super excited. Please go get this. Yes, it is the book, not just for the season, it is the book for now. And when is now? Now is all the time. So till I come here again, you know how we say it on the show. We are available across all the social media platforms: TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn, uh, X. And you know we have a YouTube channel. Are you following? Go ahead, follow us, hit that notification button so that when episodes like this drop, you'll be the first to know. You know how I say it till I come away again. My name is Amakri. Amakri is away. unknown: Bye for now. SPEAKER_03: TFD. SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.